Q:Has having herpes negatively affected your sex life?
In a short answer ‘No’ in a long answer ‘Not really?’
Each person’s relationship with themselves, with sex, with current and future partners will be unique. A better question is, does HSV have to negatively affect your
sexlife? Nope, not one bit, but negativity is relative.
Do I have to self care more and be aware of stress? Yes.
Do I have to have a conversation with my partners that may result in us not being sexually involved? Yes (but it hasn’t happened to date!)
Do I get hurt over people shaming HSV casually as if they or 10 of their friends don’t have some form of it? Yep, frequently.
But, more importantly-
Am I better able to advocate for myself sexually now?
Am I better informed about my body, health and safety?
Am I learning the importance of intimacy and putting myself first?
Am I seeking out healthy, emotionally fulfilling romantic and non romantic relationships?
Am I living in the moment more and worrying about other people’s judgements less?
Am I more in tune with my body?
Yes, yes and fuck yes.
So, in short, Yes Hsv has changed me, but mostly it’s increased my own awareness and I can’t say that that’s negative.
Oh my god yes: “it’s increased my own awareness and I can’t say that that’s negative”
It’s also been interesting to see how having herpes has made me staunchly devoted to keeping my self-esteem as intact as possible, while allowing myself to slip sometimes and being okay with that. Most of the time, any kind of negative thought about having herpes/about myself that tries to inch into my mind is immediately stopped with positive thoughts/what I think is the truth. It’s been such a struggle to get to this point, but I’m glad I’m there/getting there.
It always breaks my heart when I get messages from the newly diagnosed. In some ways getting herpes was the best thing that ever happened to me. Herpes is what made me get into sex education. I have a great sex life, I am more empowered to make safer sex decisions, and my romantic life couldn’t be better as I’m getting married. Herpes won’t ruin your life, it can be very difficult, but you can get through it.
Rollin around in V’s chair today after I did WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH yesterday. I’ll avoid using the chair until the last moment, but once I’m in - life is so much easier.
I’ve so much to say post Brushwood, vacation, honeymoon, childfree period. So very much, but the kids are all chatty and pleasant to be around.
What have I missed? How are you doing?
Fuck porn. When you’re watching a porn video, there’s a high chance the woman was forced to do it, doesn’t want to do it, was pressured and threatened to do it, and is being raped. Congrats, you’re getting off on rape. And a lot of porn videos really are sex trafficked women. A lot of the time, under aged.
Um if you’re watching a porno that has an underage girl in it and you notice discomfort then you should report it. Porn is not synonymous to sex trafficking. Sex trafficking is the forcing and kidnapping of people into sexual slavery. There are many women who go into porn as they choose and enjoy it but it is the male ran porn industry which is horrid not the stars. So no, I’m not anti porn, I’m anti sex trafficking, I’m anti cis men running the porn industry while treating their employees like garbage and for the horrible and unrealistic porno videos at that. I feel for this woman and I’m listening to her but let’s not confuse sex trafficking with porn.
The above commentary is exactly what I wanted to articulate. This type of speech also needs to be very aware of erasing the autonomous decisions of women to enter the porn industry, not all of which is as described here. This is just another example of women suffering in a male controlled industry, and just like other industries, there are safe spaces being created and maintained by women for women. It seems like there’s a tendency to paint woman as sad, coerced and broken victims when their bodies are involved. I keep seeing these gif sets of ex-porn actresses describing their trauma and passing their personal experience off as every woman’s experience. Do not make decisions for other women. By all means create resources for those who seek help, but don’t just assume all porn actresses are suffering anymore than any other woman in a job they may or may not like. Do not erase their agency.
Exactly. What this woman went threw was rape but she doesn’t speak for every woman in porn. The porn industry is in need for makeover from the ground up, we need to oust cis men with patriarchal and abusive policies and power over their employees so this doesn’t happen. We need resources for women in porn that have been abused but there is nothing wrong with women going into porn. Women do choose to go into porn. Let’s not tear down their agency, their job but the people who are in control.
*I bolded the last response because, yes.*
While playing in the woods, I met my “sister from another Mother” Rachel. kindred spirits like you would not believe.
This is true. I saw a documentary about it. Men’s orgasm faces are allowed in teenage comedies rated PG13, but women’s orgasm faces can often push it into NC-17 territory, no joke.
Two cervical cancer vaccines that are recommended for all pre-teen and early teen boys and girls miss the strains most likely to infect black women,…
Having Ehlers Danlos Syndrome sometimes feels about the equivalent of being composed of jello and wet spaghetti. Nothing stays where its supposed to. Literally every single cells in the body is floppy, so fingers are definitely an issue for many of us. I can almost guarantee that for the majority of us, writing is not only slow and painful but nearly impossible at times. FIne motor skills? What even are those? An EDSer surely doesn’t have any of those. Even typing which is far easier than writing, is painful and daunting at times. But last year I joint the poppulation of shiny zebras by getting fitted for a set of Silver Rings Splints and they are beyond magical.
For those of you who have not heard of Silver Ring Splint, they are a company that custom makes finger splint that look like elegant pieces of jewelry. Don’t believe me? Well I can’t even tell you how many compliments I’ve received for them. Nobody even suspects that they might possibly be medical. But more importantly, they work amazing! I still ave hand pain and finger dislocations when performing fine motor skills and writing is definitely not something I look forward to but I have saved myself thousands of painful dislocations, I can open doors easier, type faster, write longer and hold objects in my hands without looking like an alien from a sic-fi movie. With the rings on my fingers actually look like fingers rather than tentacles!
The company is also family owned and the people are so sweet and helpful!
If you are having trouble with hand pain, clumsiness and dislocatiosn please check out this amazing company!